I spent my weekends at home, with that attitude of not talking to anyone in the house at all. I didn't do anything productive either, 'cause I'm still not in the right mood to do so.

I hate myself, seriously fucking hate myself you know.

I feel useless, I feel really dumb stupid like a fool, I can't get things right, I screwed myself, I just simply ruined my own life, I suck to the core, I can't stand myself always being so weak, fucking hate myself to be like that. I want to change to a better me, to a better person who can easily just overcome the fear & stop thinking so much. But I can't do it, you know? I hate myself, get the point, no?

Anyhow, today mingli came over. We're supposed to study, but in the end we used the laptop together & talked about stuffs again. I really enjoy talking to her though, 'cause we somehow have the same problems, & it's great to have a girlfriend who shares her opinions with you :)

K it's back to school tomorrow. I think I'll try to start studying tomorrow onwards, 'cause... common tests are just 3weeks away!