This whole week, wasn't a pleasant one. I practically didn't do anything much, just wasting my life away. Everyone in the house was busy, I was the only one being very free most of the time. I didn't know what to do, because I was alone all the time. Each day just passed like that and soon I know, the day I fear is coming. I don't know how would I actually feel when it comes to me.

Will I still think of it? Will I still hold on? Will I let go? Will I give up? I feel like giving up but somehow, it seems that I can't do it. Because I've never ever wanna give up, that's why I'm still left hanging there, & I don't know what to do. I've been thinking to myself, whether am I doing the right thing, did I make the right choice so that everyone is happy. But am I? Am I happy too? I want to be happy too...... I feel lousy. If only I've some vodka & martell here. At least they'll make me feel happy.. Fuck my shitty life can!?!!?